Monday 4 February 2013

THE TROUBLE WITH ALEX: A CHILD TOO DAMAGED TO LOVE BY MELANIE ALLEN


I finished reading this book within a day. Considering the book is about 300 pages and more, I must have ignored many aspects to be able to complete it.
The book is about a couple with a son adopting Alex whose birth mother was not capable of taking care of her properly due to excessive drugs and alcohol.
The book made me cry, made me sick, made me anxious as the story unfold, I couldn’t help but wanting the story to finish so I know what was exactly wrong with Alex, if any.
Personally believe Melanie was not ready to be an adopter, especially as she learnt Alex has learning difficulty or even suspected her of faking her difficulties. But sometimes, by the way Melanie described about Alex and her character, I couldn’t help to think Alex may be faking it too.
Melanie is not physically nor mentally prepared for the adoption. She was very honest in her book, on how she was not interested in learning about Alex’s development in school, brushing off anybody who has kind intention to help. She was always negative about Alex, wanting Alex to be part of them instead of the other way round.
Not just Melanie and Alex were the victim of the circumstances, but Rob and Daniel (Melanie’s son) too. Melanie and Rob went on separation, and Daniel is definitely affected in one way or another.
This book reminds me of my anticipation towards my son. At times, I think he was pretending, pretending to be “ignorant”. My take is, he is far too brilliant to be ignorant, but my mother-in-law always says “he is just 2 years old”. I always challenge her back; he is sometimes too smart for a 2 year old, you think he is that ignorant?
There are many parties involved in the adoption, which happened in UK, and I’m actually glad there are therapists, social services, hospitals, families to help these “disturbed” children.
For the first time in my years of reading, I found this book incomplete. Is that all? Is that what happened to Alex? Continuously being disturbed, at times brilliant, at times disturbed, at times violent, at times aggressive as she is too damaged to love? Is there nothing we can do to help her?
It is really sad..
Note: please consider properly and take on as many assessments possible if you choose to adopt children with special needs, they are not called “special needs children” out of fun.

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